Marriage is not for the faint. It’s not for those looking for constant butterflies, picture-perfect moments, or a happily-ever-after without work. Marriage is for those willing to put in the time, the effort, and the sacrifice. It’s for those who understand that love is more than a feeling, it’s a choice you have to keep making every single day.
Somewhere along the way, culture sold us a lie, that if you’re not “happy” in your marriage, it’s a sign you should walk away. But happiness is a tricky thing. It’s fleeting. It comes and goes based on circumstances, moods, and even how much sleep you got last night. Basing the commitment of a lifetime on something so unstable is like building a house on sand, it won’t last.
The truth is, marriage isn’t sustained by constant happiness. It’s sustained by covenant. By the decision you made before God and each other to stay, even when you don’t “feel” it. Even when your spouse gets on your last nerve. Even when life has drained every ounce of romance and left you with nothing but bills, kids, and to-do lists.
There will be seasons when you feel distant. Times when your spouse doesn’t seem to understand you. Moments where you’ll look across the room and wonder, “Are we even on the same page anymore?” Those are the times where feelings can’t be the driver, faithfulness has to be.
That doesn’t mean you ignore deep issues like abuse, infidelity, or complete abandonment. Those are serious matters that require wisdom, counsel, and sometimes separation for safety or healing. But “I’m not happy” by itself isn’t the rock-solid foundation for divorce that many make it out to be.
Happiness is the byproduct of something deeper, commitment, respect, communication, forgiveness, and grace. And here’s the thing, sometimes you have to work through the hard seasons to see that happiness bloom again. It might not look like it did when you first started dating. It might be quieter, deeper, more rooted in knowing each other’s scars and still choosing to love anyway.
Marriage will test you. It will stretch you. It will reveal parts of you that you didn’t even know were there, some beautiful, some ugly. But if you let it, marriage will also refine you. It will teach you patience, humility, and unconditional love in ways nothing else can.
So if you’re in a season where happiness feels far away, don’t assume that means it’s over. Pray together. Fight for your marriage instead of against each other. Remember why you said “I do” in the first place.
Because the truth is, happiness might fade for a moment, but commitment, when rooted in God, can last a lifetime. And sometimes, the joy you thought was gone is just waiting on the other side of the storm you’re in right now.
Holy mess 