There was a time when I lived on edge, constantly frustrated, always disappointed, and never truly at peace. I didn’t realize it then, but I was trying so hard to control everything around me: people, outcomes, even time itself. I was drained because I was fighting a battle that wasn’t mine to fight. And the worst part? I didn’t even know I was doing it.
But something shifted when I got closer to God. The deeper I went in my walk with Him, the more I realized just how little control I really had over anything, except for myself. Not over people. Not over circumstances. Not even over how a day will unfold. But what I do have control over… is me. My reactions. My attitude. My perspective.
And let me tell you, that realization changed my life. I used to let everything affect me. Someone’s mood, an unexpected change in plans, a passive-aggressive comment, even just waking up late, it would ruin my whole day. But God began showing me that those things weren’t the problem. The problem was how I responded to them. I was handing over my peace to things and people that didn’t even deserve that kind of power.
The truth is, contentment isn’t something that happens when life is perfect. It happens when your heart is steady even when life isn’t. And that comes from knowing God is in control, even when you’re not. It comes from trusting that He sees what you don’t and that He’s working even when you feel like everything is falling apart.
Since embracing that, I’ve found peace in situations that used to break me. I’ve learned to breathe through chaos and speak calmly in the middle of storms. Not because I’m stronger, but because I’ve surrendered. Surrendered the illusion of control. Surrendered the pressure to fix everything. Surrendered the need to always understand why.
And here’s another truth I had to learn the hard way: Happiness doesn’t come from anyone else. I used to think if I just found the right person, if I had more support, if someone loved me the way I needed to be loved, then I’d finally be happy. But that kind of happiness is temporary and dangerous. Because what happens when they disappoint you? What happens when they walk away or when they’re going through something and can’t show up for you?
God had to show me that true happiness, real joy, is something that comes from within. It’s rooted in who I am in Him, not who I am to someone else. It’s knowing that even if everything around me is falling apart, I don’t have to. Because He holds me together.
So now, I wake up and choose how my day will be. I choose joy. I choose peace. I choose grace. Not because life is always easy, but because I’ve realized I get to choose. And no one can take that away from me unless I let them.
If you’re constantly searching for someone or something to make you happy, I want to gently tell you, you won’t find them. Because the truth is, you are that person. You are the one who gets to decide how your story plays out emotionally. And when you hand that over to God and take responsibility for your inner world, something powerful happens, you stop surviving, and you start living.
If this message hit home for you, I’d love to hear how God has helped you release control and find peace within. Drop a comment below or share with someone you know can use this. And remember, joy is not found in perfect conditions, it’s found in a surrendered heart.
Holy mess 