Forgiveness sounds easier when there’s distance. When someone wrongs you and walks out of your life, you can pray through it. You can process it. You may never see them again.
But what about when the person who hurt you is the one you eat dinner with every night? The one lying next to you in bed? The one who said they’d protect your heart but ended up wounding it? That kind of forgiveness hits different. It’s not about letting go. it’s about choosing peace in the middle of the storm. And it’s hard.
I’ve learned that forgiving someone you live with isn’t a one-time event. It’s a choice you have to make again and again, especially when the memories creep back in uninvited. It shows up in the small, ordinary moments: their voice. You notice their smell. You see the way they sip their coffee. They might leave their clothes on the floor. Forgiveness in those moments isn’t simple.
It’s a fight for your sanity, your softness, your peace.
People say “forgive and forget,” but God never said that. He said forgive, seventy times seven.
Not because forgetting is easy, but because healing is holy. Forgiveness isn’t pretending it didn’t hurt.
It’s looking the pain in the face and saying:
“You don’t control me anymore.”
When you forgive someone close, like a spouse, a partner, or even a family member, you’re not excusing what happened. You’re trusting that God sees the whole picture and that He’s holding both of your hearts in His hands. So how do you actually do it?
You talk to God more than you talk to them. Let Him carry what your partner can’t fix. Some wounds only God can heal. When I was in the thick of it, I started reading Healing Is the New High by Vex King. It is not a Christian book. Yet, it opened my eyes to emotional self-awareness and reminded me that healing starts within.
Then I turned to Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa TerKeurst. It helped me understand that forgiveness isn’t about them. It’s about setting my soul free. That book taught me how to stop replaying the pain and start reclaiming my peace.
I also began journaling nightly in my 52-Week Prayer Journal for Women. It became my safe space to cry and release my emotions. I could write prayers I couldn’t say out loud. Some nights, I’d read a page from The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional by Gary Chapman. This book serves as a gentle reminder. Love can heal if both hearts are willing to grow.
Forgiveness is a process. It’s learning to set boundaries without building walls.
It’s speaking truth with tenderness and letting time do its job. Just because you’ve forgiven them doesn’t mean you feel better right away. Give your heart time to catch up to your spirit.
And when those old feelings rise again, remember the frustration and the resentment. Return to the source of your peace: God’s Word. I keep a Beautiful Word Bible Journal on my nightstand. It is filled with verses that remind me who I am. They also remind me whose I am. When I read Scriptures about forgiveness, it quiets the part of me that wants to stay mad.
Because here’s the truth: Hurt has a way of distorting who you think you are. But God keeps whispering, “You’re still Mine.” Forgiveness doesn’t mean going back to “normal.”
It means choosing grace on purpose, even when love feels distant, even when healing feels slow.
It’s choosing peace over proving a point. It’s choosing to stay soft when bitterness wants to take over.
And some days, it looks like crying in the shower. It might mean praying in silence. Or it could be going to bed early because it’s too heavy to carry.
And that’s okay. Because forgiveness is not about them.
It’s about letting God hold the pieces you can’t carry anymore.
🙏 A Prayer for Strength to Forgive
“Lord, I want to forgive, but it hurts too much.
Heal what they broke and calm what I can’t control.
Teach me how to love without losing myself.
Remind me that forgiveness isn’t weakness, it’s freedom.
Help me release the pain and trust You with the outcome.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
If this spoke to something real inside you, you’re not alone.
Forgiveness isn’t about being strong, it’s about staying surrendered.
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You’re healing. You’re growing. You’re learning to forgive, and that’s holy work.
Holy mess 